Monday Morning Musings - This last month

It's been an interesting month since my last post.  Some of it's been great and some has been not so great.  Nothing horrible has happened.  I've just had an interesting time adjusting to life as a mother.  Lots of mental and emotional turmoil.  I decided to talk to my doctor about it and we decided that I was probably suffering from Postpartum Depression and needed some medication.  It kind of surprised me because I wasn't feeling particularly sad or "depressed."  Just really, really extremely anxious about everything.  And that's just not me.  But after just about a week and a half on the medication, I started feeling much better and now I feel back to normal!  Hooray for modern medicine!

Now for the great parts.  Cadence started smiling!  She's such a smiley baby now!  It's so cute and is a sanity saver!

She's also starting to enjoy her play gym a bit more.  She makes all kinds of cute coos and grunts as she's playing.

And, unbelievably, she slept for SIX STRAIGHT HOURS one night this week!  I've been lucky if she did four and I got three.  I'm hoping for a few more sixers!

Thankful Thursday - Welcome Breaks

I'm grateful for people who will hold my crying baby and not just immediately give her back.  It's a welcome break and I love it!  Thank you!  Thank you!

Way Back When Wednesday - Ok, so it wasn't that long ago... Part II

Continued from last week's Way Back When...

It took them so long to stitch me back up.  Or at least it seemed like it took so long.  Time passed by slowly when half of my body was numb.  My two doctors chatted a bit while they worked, and I tried to chat with them as well, but I didn't have too much to say other than, "How many kids do you have Dr. Skinner," and "I think I'd like to do this again with my next kid!"

Then they wheeled me into the recovery room.  At this point all I could think about was the HORRIBLE taste in my mouth (having a baby hadn't really hit me yet).  I kept asking the nurse in the recovery room if I could take off the oxygen mask, but she didn't do much about it, until the nurse from the OR left.  Then she happily took it from me.  And she gave me some gum.  Wonderful gum!

I was in there for about an hour, pretty much alone.  I think I was the only patient in there so it was just me and the two nurses.  One sat right next to me and read a magazine.  Both were nice and easy to chat with.  

By the time they took me to my room, I was only able to wiggle my left foot and the toes on my right.  But it wasn't long before I was able to move everything.  But I didn't really want to.  It was an odd feeling getting feeling back.  I kind of expected it to be painful like when your feet fall asleep, but it wasn't like that at all.  It was just weird.

After a few minutes, they brought Cadence into our room.  What can I say about those first few minutes?  They were wonderful and scary all at the same time.  In one way, it felt like she wasn't my baby at all with the c-section and hour long wait in the recovery room.  In another way, I knew she was mine because she was my CLONE!!  I couldn't believe how much she looked like my newborn pictures.  There was no mistaking, she was my child!

The three of us only spent three days and two nights in the hospital.  I was lucky enough to have Derek be able to also sleep in the room with us.  And boy, did I need him!  Those two nights were really rough for me.  Seems like night time makes everything worse!  I was feeling anxious about EVERYTHING and had absolutely no idea what to do for her or how to do it!  I used my call button frequently.

I was so sure I'd keep Cadence with me day and night in the hospital.  I really didn't want to put her in the nursery.  I was really worried about her feeling sad or neglected.  But at about midnight on the second night, I was at my wit's end.  She was being so fussy and I was so frazzled.  I was bawling because my baby girl was crying and I couldn't do anything to help her!!  See the hormones?  I talked to a nurse and decided to put her in the nursery so I could get some much needed sleep (Sometimes I wish I had that option now!).  Best decision I made that night!

My recovery went pretty quickly.  I had bit of pain, but it was quite manageable with some drugs.  I was able to walk to and from the bathroom the first day, and by the second and third day I was confident enough to carry Cadence around with me.  Sitting up was a trick, but that's why hospital beds have those cool remotes right?

The morning of the third day, my doctors told me I could go home whenever I wanted to; Cadence and I were both doing just fine.  Of course, it took all day to get the needed paperwork together and for my doctor--who was now also Cadence's pediatrician--to sign her off.  But she finally came around 5:00 that evening.

It was so nice to get out of that hospital!  It was nice being waited on hand and foot, but the bed was uncomfortable and I really didn't miss getting my vitals checked twice a night!

Top Ten Tuesday - Favorite Parts About the First Month

As of last week, Cadence is one month old!  Time is weird.  Looking back, it's seemed to fly by so quickly, but getting through each day and night has seemed like it's taken so long.  Must be something about newborns.  Or maybe just children? 

My Favorite Things About Cadence's First Month

1. Finally getting to see what she looks like.  Derek and I discussed this for a long time.  We're pretty accurate so far.  She looks a lot like me but with blond hair and blue eyes.
   
   
2. Finally making a choice on feeding.  As I said before, looking back on time, it seems to fly.  This choice really only took me two weeks, but the stress of the two options made it seem like so much longer.  Now I'm completely happy and guilt free about the choice I made!
   
   
3. My Project 365.  I made a goal to complete a P365 of Cadence from day one.  It's taken some effort.  Most of the time, I'm so busy taking pictures is the furthest thing from my mind, but I'm so glad I'm doing it!  It's going to be so fun to go back and see how much she's changed.  Heck, it's already fun to go back and look through the pictures and it's only been one month!!
   
   
4. Seeing Cadence's unique personality come out.  Some parts of this are less fun than others.  She has quite a temper!  But when she's happy, she's happy!  And it's so much fun to play with her!
   
   
5. Willow's attitude towards Cadence.  Most of the time, Willow pretty much ignores her.  She seems to know she's there, but doesn't really care.  Even when Cadence is crying extremely loud.  Willow just kind of looks at us like, "Well, what are you going to do to stop this?"  But the other day, she got really brave while Cadence was in her bouncy seat on the floor.  Willow did the curious cat move and slapped her on the head with her (clawless) front paw.  Cadence didn't really like it that much...
   
   
6. The portability factor.  Cadence is still pretty portable.  So even though I'm feeling a little trapped these days, I don't feel too trapped.
   
   
7. Cute little clothes.  Cadence was pretty big when she was born, but not too big.  She still fits into the cute little girl clothes.  And with as much as she spits up, she's wears two sometimes three different outfits a day!
   
   
8. My boppy pillow.  This pillow has been one of the best baby items I've used!  Cadence has been pretty heavy as we hold her since day one so a support is necessary.  I'll tell you just how necessary it is.  It's pink stripped and Derek still asks for it! :)
   
   
9. Great help from family and friends.  Having a baby and becoming a mom has been a really hard transition for me.  It really stresses me out.  I'm sure it stresses every parent out, but it seems a little more extreme for me.  I've been really blessed to have great family and friends who are willing to go the extra mile to help me out.  One friend in particular really goes the extra mile.  Thank you so much Tanya!
   
   
10. Getting to hold and snuggle with Cadence.  There are times during the day I just like to sit and snuggle with my sleeping baby!  Even when I have a ton of other things to do.  She's just too cute!
    
    

Thankful Thursday - A hardworking man

This week I'm particularly grateful for my husband.  Derek is the greatest!  He works two jobs, one of which starts at 3:00 AM!  And he's always willing to help me out with Cadence when he's home.  He'll take her for an hour or two when he gets home from his early morning job so I can get a little more sleep, and he's always offering to do whatever's needed in the evenings after he gets home from his handyman job.   He really works around the clock!!  What a hard working man!

AND for the past week Derek's been extra nice by offering to stay up a little later at night so I can get some extra rest because I think I'm coming down with something (hopefully it's just a little cold).  This is a big deal because he really needs his sleep at night so he can get up early. 

I am so grateful to have such a wonderful husband!  And I'm so excited for the next job he'll be doing because he'll be able to do it from home in the garage.  That way if I get lonely for him, I can just step outside!




PS: And I can't forget my dad as well. He's been a lifesaver, too!  If he hears Cadence and I having a really rough time, he always takes a break from work to work his grandpa magic to get her to settle down.  He's also a hardworking man!  Not only does he have his full time computer job, he is also the primary caregiver for my disabled mom.

Way Back When Wednesday - Ok, so it wasn't that long ago...

I've decided that it feels a little strange to know when you're going to have your baby.  To not eat anything after midnight the night before your c-section.  To walk into the emergency room check-in and tell them you're there for your scheduled c-section.  But it's not a bad feeling.  And I've decided that next time I'd like to do the same thing.

I was full of anticipation the evening of Monday, September 21st.  We had taken my mom over to Nampa Care for a respite stay that afternoon, and I ate a big dinner and ate a bunch of snacks--right up until midnight, my deadline.  I didn't want to be totally starving in the morning.

The next morning, Derek and I got up early so that we could be at the hospital by 8:30am, my appointment was at 9:00.   They checked me in and sent me upstairs to the labor and delivery area.  One of the nurses took me to a delivery room, handed me a couple gowns and asked me to change.

After I got changed, they hooked me up to an IV and to the monitors that track contractions and the baby's heartbeat.  When my doctor came to check on me, she said that I was having some nice--as she put it--contractions.  But I couldn't feel them.  And I couldn't figure out what she meant by "nice contractions."  Maybe they were regular?  Or maybe they were the normal braxton-hicks?  It didn't really matter what they were because I was going in for a c-section anyways.  I was really nervous.  I think I peed at least five times in the two hours we were waiting in the room.

While we waited for my c-section (we were eventually told that it would happen around 11:00 or 11:30), a four doctors came in to talk to me: my doctor, my surgeon, the anesthesiologist, and a med student.  The med student was weird.  I wasn't completely comfortable with him.  He seemed a little young, and made too many dorky jokes.  The anesthesiologist was a little strange too, but he was funny.  He said that he was called Mr. Glamor Shots because he likes to take pictures of the babies in the OR.  A little weird, but nice because neither Derek or I were available to take pictures of Cadence at that point.

Finally, they took me down to the OR.  I rode on the bed (such a weird experience!) and Derek came a bit later after changing into scrubs.  Next was the spinal block.  This was one of the things I was most nervous about.  They have to put a needle into your spine and inject body paralyzing medication!  They had a little trouble at first.  Most of it was my fault.  I kept twitching when they pricked me which evidently, I wasn't supposed to do!  You try not twitching when someone sticks you in the spine!

When we finally got it in right, I started feeling my feet go numb, a signal that they should get me laid down.  Another odd experience, people helping you lay down and get situated.  They actually told me not to try to lay down!  I guess it was for my own safety, my bottom half was slowly becoming paralyzed.  Falling off the table wouldn't have been good...

The anesthesiologist had warned me before about the spinal block making some people feel nauseated, but they had some meds to keep that from happening.  And that very thing happened.  I started freaking out a little because I hate feeling nauseated.  I kept telling the nurse that she'd better hurry up and give me the medicine or I would throw up in the oxygen mask!  Then I started feeling a lot of pressure on my chest.  The nurse told me that was a normal side effect of the spinal block.

Both of those really horrible feelings wore off and I started actually feeling sort of comfortable.  A lot of people said they felt cold, but I felt the opposite.  I was nice and toasty!  It was almost like being in a nice, warm bath.  I also felt a little sleepy.  The anesthesiologist told me that was a possibility because with a spinal block, half of my body wouldn't be taking in any sensory information, and that it can be quite relaxing. 

The actual surgery was surreal!  Like everybody said, I couldn't feel anything, but there was a lot of pressure.  And she was really packed in there!  I was told it took three doctors and a pair of forceps to get her out!  Derek later said that while everybody was pushing on my stomach the table was moving around like crazy, but I didn't even notice.  Derek was really great, he held my hand and rubbed my head the whole time!

They got her out after quite a bit of pushing and pulling.  I could hear her cry, but couldn't see anything because the blue screen was still up.  After they got her wiped up and prepped, they briefly showed her to me, handed her to Derek and then pushed him in the direction of the nursery.

To be continued next week...

Monday Morning Musings - Shortcuts

Do those text shortcuts bother anybody else out there?  Not only do they butcher English grammar, I always read them like words!  Really odd words.  And yes, I do know they are acronyms. 

The worst one for me is ROFL.  Everyone else in the world probably reads that as it's supposed to be, "rolling on the floor laughing" (Who really does that anyway?  I've never laughed that hard because of an e-mail, text message, etc.).  I can't help but read it phonetically, and it sounds like a disgusting puking noise.  And that's not funny at all!

I do have to admit though, I have used LOL a few times.  It's more true to life for me.  Sometimes I do laugh out loud after reading e-mails, text messages, and blog posts.  But the acronym thing still drives me nutts!

But emoticons, I love those!  Does that make me a hypocrite? =^..^=